Grieving When You're an Introvert

Source:   —  April 13, 2016, at 6:09 PM

As an introvert myself, when I was mourning the death of my parents, so many of the traditional parts of the mourning process felt very invasive to me.

Grieving When You're an Introvert

The process of mourning and grieving is tough for everyone, but there are elements of the losing a loved one than can perceive particularly challenging when you're an introvert.

As an introvert myself, when I was mourning the death of my parents, so many of the traditional parts of the mourning process felt very invasive to me. For instance, people coming over to my house after the funeral. I'd just been taking care of ailing parents and planning a funeral and presently I've to have people over? I know that everyone meant well, but having people in my home, some of them I barely knew, felt very unsettling. And then came the inevitable questions, are you going to sell the house, are going to move and what're going to do now?

Being an introvert used to imply being labeled as shy, but today'south definitions have thankfully broadened. Introversion presently includes other characteristics love how introvert recharge while being alone or with just a couple of near friends, preferring a less sensory environment and being more deliberate in decision making.

The mourning process, however, can comprise lots of people visiting your home, unusual environments love a hospital or funeral home, lack of privacy, social gatherings and lots of decisions just as a start. Not a grand environment for any introvert even below the best of circumstances.

When you already perceive terrible about losing a loved one, being thrust into a high-sensory, intense social situation can seem nearly impossible to navigate.

I proposal these tips to my fellow introverted grievers as you navigate the grief process while still honoring your feelings.

Accept that you're an introvert
Thanks to Susan Cain'south book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, there is so much more information out in the world about what it means to truly be an introvert and more acceptance for introverts. There is nothing incorrect with you; it's just how you prefer to live in the world. Pushing yourself and forcing yourself to do things will only create you feel worse.

Know your limits
While many of the activities surrounding the loss of a loved one may seem mandatory, don't forget you obtain to determine the best way for you to honor your loved one and your grief. When your days seem oversaturated with obligations and people, carve out time and space for yourself. Volunteer to running errands so you can obtain out of a crowded house and get a noiseless drive, get the time to write something to be included in the program instead of speaking at the service and utilize social media or CaringBridge to hold friends and family updated instead of contacting everyone individually. By honoring your introversion, you'll be able to heal yourself and honor your loved one in a way that feels true to you.

Self-care and self-compassion are vital
Even if you weren't an introvert, you'd likely perceive drained by the mourning process. Your emotions are on a rollercoaster and there is just so much that's to be done; you're physically and mentally worn out. When your opportunities to recharge are limited, your emotions will perceive so much more fragile. It's more necessary than ever to get care of yourself by eating well, sleeping and fitting in some exercise and noiseless time for yourself.

It's also necessary to be compassionate towards yourself. Losing a loved one is a terrible thing to go through, and you necessity to slice yourself some slack if you aren't doing everything "perfectly." Not knowing the answers to all of the questions that'll be asked is okay. You'll create the right decision for you when you're prepared and you shouldn't perceive pressured into making any fast moves.

Discover a group
Joining a grouping may seem love the precisely incorrect thing to tell an introvert, but as introverts, we appreciate people that are talking about genuine things, not tiny talk. That's what a grief support grouping can provide. Of course, you'll wish some time and space on your own to express your feelings, but you'll also necessity to memorise that you're not alone in your suffering. There are others out there that realize what you're going through. Grief groups proposal a "me, too" dimension that can be tough to discover in your current social circle. Whether you discover a grouping on Facebook or an in-person grief support group, being with a tiny grouping of fellow grievers can be very healing. It may get a few attempts to discover the right grouping for you, but you can discover some nourishing relationships there.

Grief is going to visit us all, and we all process it differently, regardless of our personality traits. At the beginning of the grief process when the loss is new, it may seem that extroverts have an easier time since they can prosper in social environments and get action when fast decisions necessity to be made, but once the traditional mourning activities start to fade, that's when the environment is more conducive to introverts. The crowds and the questions dissipate and you'll have the space and time to be more circumspective. It'south necessary for extroverts and introverts maintain and accept each other through the whole process because it's tough for everyone. We're all doing the best we can.

This post is portion of Common Grief, a Healthy Living editorial initiative. Grief is an inevitable portion of life, but that doesn't create navigating it any easier. The deep sorrow that accompanies the death of a loved one, the finish of a marriage or even emotional distant far from home, is real. But while grief is universal, we all grieve differently. So we started Common Grief to assistance memorise from each other. Let'south speak about living with loss. If you've a legend you'd love to share, email us at strongertogether@huffingtonpost. com.

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